We do not know if these situations have been real, but if we know that they will make you laugh as seldom you have done it.
The General manager of an important company, in his emulation for generating a moment of recreation for his personnel and in turn demonstrating his knowledge on the phenomenon of the comet Halley that was coming closer, expresses the following bulletin:
COMMUNICATION:
Of: General manager, A: Manager:
Next Friday, approximately at 5 p.m., the comet Halley will spend for está region. It is a question of an event that happens once every 76 years. Being like that, please, assemble the personnel in the courtyard of the factory where I will explain this rare scientific phenomenon to them.
IT NOTICES: They all must use safety helmet. If it was going so far as to rain, we will not be able to see the spectacle roughly naked, that's why they all will have to go to the dining room, where a documentary video will be exhibited on the curious event.
Of: Manager, A: Supervisor:
By order of the General manager, on Friday at 5 p.m., the comet Halley is going to appear on the factory. If you were going so far as to rain, please, assemble the personnel, all with safety helmets, to protect the naked eyes, and direct them to the dining room, where there will happen a rare scientific phenomenon that takes place every 76 years.
Of: Supervisor, A: Production manager:
For invitation of our General manager, we will attend the cientista Halley, of 76 years, which is going to turn out to be naked in the dining room of the factory, using helmet; also a video is going to appear on the problem of the safety rain (anti-fires). The director will take the demonstration to the courtyard of the factory.
Of Production manager, To Foreman:
On Friday at 5 p.m., the Director, for the first time in 76 years, is going to turn out to be naked in the dining room of the factory, to film Halley, the famous person cientista and his team. They all must appear with helmet, since a show is going to appear on the safety in the rain. The Director will lead to the band for the courtyard of the factory.
Of: Foreman, A: Personnel
All nudes, without exception, must appear to the safety personnel in the courtyard of the factory next Friday at 5 p.m., since the "chief" and Mr. Halley, famous guitarist and his band, they will be there to show the rare movie "Dancing under the rain". If it was beginning raining, we go away to the dining room using helmet. The show will be there and it is realized only every 76 years.
INTERNAL COMMUNICATION BETWEEN PERSONNEL
On Friday, at 5 p.m., the Director is going to celebrate his 76 years and a festichola is going to give in the dining room. It is going to appear "Bill Halley and his comets". They all must be naked and of helmet because the band is very crazy and the musician goes to listen even in the courtyard, although it rains cats and dogs.
TRAINING FOR APPLICANTS TO VETERINARIANS
Like administering a tablet to a cat:
1st - Be going to the house of the cat to medicate, greet respectfully the house proprietor, say to him that it has called the person indicated for such a task, for what owes to be able only calm and go to water the plants to the garden while you will do the simple work.
1st - Take the cat and rock it with his left arm as if it was supporting a baby. Posicione the index and the thumb of his left hand to apply a soft pressure to the cheeks of the cat while it supports the tablet with the right. When the cat opens the mouth, throws the tablet inside. Allow to close the mouth to the effects of which the cat swallows the tablet.
2nd - the Levant the tablet of the soil and to the cat of behind the couch. Rock the cat in his left arm and repeat the process.
3rd - Bring the cat of the bedroom and throw the tablet drooled to the garbage.
4th - Take a new tablet of the box, rock the cat in his left arm keeping the rear paws firmly fastened with his left hand. Force the jaws opening and push the tablet inside the mouth with his middle finger. Support the closed mouth of the cat while it counts up to 10.
5th - Extract the tablet of the fishbowl and to the cat of above of the closet. Call the proprietor of house, which is in the garden.
6th - Kneel down in the soil with the cat firmly supported between his knees. Support the calm rear and front paws. Ignore the croakings that the cat expresses. Ask the lady (the proprietor of the cat) to support the head of the cat with a hand while it opens the mouth to him with a wooden rule. Throw the tablet inside and rub vigorously the gullet of the cat.
7th - Bring the cat of the portarrollos of the curtain. Bring another tablet of the box. Remember to buy a new rule and to repair the curtains. Sweep carefully the pieces of figures of china and make them separate to give them then.
8th - Wrap the cat in a big towel and ask the lady to keep it stuck-up, with only the visible head. Put the tablet in a tubito of plastic (type soda sherbet). Open the mouth of the cat with a pencil. Put an end of the tubito in the mouth of the cat and other in his. Blow.
9th - Verify the box to make sure that the tablet is not harmful for human beings. Drink a water glass to recover the sense of the taste. Apply dressings to the arms of the lady and clean the blood of the carpet with cold water and soap.
10th - There Brings the damned cat of the roof of the neighbor. Take another tablet. The cat sets in the closet and close the door on his neck, leaving alone the head out of the same one. Force the opening of the mouth with a dessertspoon. Throw the tablet inside with a flexible bandita.
11th - Be going to the garage to look for a screwdriver to place the door of the closet again in his hinges. Apply cold compresses to him in the cheeks and verify when it was his last vaccine dose against the lockjaw. There throws the rower who had
putting in his purse and take a cleaning that will have gone of store.
12th - Call the firemen to lower the animal poor wretch of the tree of the opposite street. Apologize with the neighbor who smashed against his grill trying to escape of the furious cat. Take the last tablet of the box.
13th - Tie the forelegs of the beast to the rears with a rope. Tie it firmly to the paw of the table of the kitchen. Look for gloves of heavy work. Support the mouth of the cat opened with a small lever. Put the tablet in the mouth followed by a big piece of meat. Support the vertical head and spill half a liter of water across the gullet of the cat so that it swallows the tablet.
14th - Say to the house proprietor that it should take it to the emergency room. Feel peacefully while the doctor bandages fingers and front to him, and extracts the tablet of the eye. In the way back, stop in the furniture factory to buy a new table for the lady.
Valued / valued friend / friend, if you want to send this "Texts hunorísticos" to your friends, include please the direction of our place, you will be helping us to spread it. From already thank you very much.
It knows the ideas and the most visited and warm pages of the place:
Index humor
|
